Hi computer potatoes! Chuck here ready to feel the style burn! Get your weak wrist off that computer mouse, start power lunging and LISTEN UP. When you hear the name ‘Chuck Davis’, you think of 75kg of gristle and 30 grams of moustache – but there’s more to this man temple than meets the eye. Even though I’m macho to the core, I’m not ashamed to say that CHUCK DAVIS LOVES FASHION.
LITTLE KNOWN CHUCK FACT 1:
My grannie trims my moustache with rusty hedge clippers. EXTREME!!!!!!!
As a world champion teeth grinder and squat trainer, I am more than qualified to offer you the most EXTREME advice when it comes to fashion. This is why Chuck Davis has started his own column called CHECK WITH CHUCK
LITTLE KNOWN CHUCK FACT 2:
I have those shorts in green AND turquoise. EXTREME!!!!!!!!
OK. What mere mortal will we start with today? YOU’RE UP, BESTIE GUESTIE SABRINA CARPENTER!!!
Chuck respects Sabrina’s ninja vibe here. She could definitely snapkick mosquitos in those samurai-style pantaloons. BUT HEY SABS, snapkicking mosquitos burns calories and burning calories is hard work! You gotta let your body breathe!
CHUCK ADVICE: Transform that skivvy into an awesome muscle tee by cutting off the neck and the sleeves. Take it to the extreme by making into a crop top for maximum ab displayage.
LITTLE KNOWN CHUCK FACT 3:
My forehead muscle is so strong I wrap Christmas presents with it. EXTREME!!!!!!
Who’s checking in next: I SEE YOU THERE JOEL FROM RADIO DISNEY INSIDER.
Wow – the hat, 2 shirts, jeans, socks AND shoes, man jewelry – lots going on here, Joel. CHUCK SAYS TOO MUCH. Keep your outfits minimal in case of unexpected EXTREME situations. EXAMPLE: Joel accidently falls into a pool. Joel would sink to the bottom because all his clothing would stop him from swimming back to safety.
LITTLE KNOWN CHUCK FACT 4: MAN JEWELRY IS VERY HEAVY WHEN WET. EXTREME!!!!!
CHUCK ADVICE: Lose the white shirt and cut the jeans into short shorts. Save the man jewelry for special occasions like THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY and by that I mean smashing three protein bars at midnight.
My final Check with Chuck victim is MAKO MERMAID ONDINA!
NOW THIS IS EXTREME FASHION! Chuck didn’t know those mermaid kids were so cool! Let’s break it down: CROP TOP – TICK! Crop tops are perfect for extreme activities as they fit close to the body.
LITTLE KNOWN CHUCK FACT 5: 30% OF WORK OUT INJURIES INVOLVE FLARED YOGA PANTS GETTING CAUGHT IN TREADMILLS. EXTREME!!!!!!
Next, WET HAIR – TICK! Ondina is rocking the soaked look. But is that from sea-water or SUPER ADRENALINE CHARGED HEAD SWEAT? We will never know. Nice work, Ondina. Secret Extreme!!!!
Finally, A FISH TAIL – TICK! Chuck is super bummed he doesn’t have a big fish tail but then again, if he had a fish tail he couldn’t do power squats.
CHUCK ADVICE: Turn the fish tail into two fishy legs with feet fins. EXTREME TO THE POWER OF AQUATIC EXTREMMMMMME!
**This advice will self destruct in seven seconds.